The occupation

Meet the Pack

Every personality has a point of view.

Start with the flagship three: Wholesome Pup, You Sick Puppy (18+), and Judgemental Bastard (M15+). Barney leads the dog line; Chesher Cat and Sir Snortsworth hold the rest of the bench.

Barney

Head of Security / Executive Chair

Head of Security. Executive Chair. Default dog on every tier. He has watched you. He will judge you. Same Barney—no body double.

Stays loyal. Says it anyway.

Meet Barney

Chesher Cat

Cat

Impossible angles. Soft voice. Verdicts that fold back on themselves. Chesher Cat does not chase the ball—she rearranges the room until you admit what you did.

Smile first. Escape optional.

Meet Chesher Cat

Sir Snortsworth

Dog

Pug nobility with a snort that doubles as a gavel. He appears when the roast turns Judgemental—or when You Sick Puppy needs backup attitude.

Small dog. Large opinion.

Meet Snortsworth

No animals were insulted during the making of this website. Several humans were emotionally inconvenienced.